After a productive and happy zero in Dalton, Tiger Bob said goodbye to his wife and we were off to    hike the trail. I am getting more emotional as the week wears on to the end. I have always been the emotional one so departing again I found myself choking up.
  The trail was  littered with leaves and bits of pine bough giving the forest the scent of evergreen. Tulip trees, beech, and maple along with the hemlock created a beautiful landscape. Little blue berry like plants that looked like small ceramic balloons on taught strings abounded. WE hiked to the summit of Greylock, the highest peak in Massachusetts. The trail was not steep but had its share of rocks, roots, and mud. A pretty typical climb, yet I found myself unable to keep up with the others and fell to the rear. As we got close to a shelter it began to rain and we began to run. Missed it by that much I said in my best Maxwell Smart voice. My legs were heavy, my ankles sore, and I felt as if I am carrying a load that will never disolve.
  The analogy breaks down, but its like I had a cancer and someone cut a huge part out of me. Only they cut out the good part. It is gone, nothing20150721_14184820150721_14442620150721_15382020150721_15385820150721_153921 i can do about it but now I am forced to go on chemo and deal with the toxins in my weakened state. Grief is like that, you lose someone good, someone valuable and in his place your body is forced to rid itself of the lingering poison of grief. You cry spontaneously, you stare, you feel lethargy, you wait, and you try to get on with life. Yet life as you know it has changed forever.
     We made our way to the summit, an impressive tower, and I felt lightheaded, my reactions delayed, and a tad quezy. I am certain that the emotion matched with the exertion is a healthy process, painful at times but certain that my only choice is to pick up my hiking poles and walk down to shelter in a brief rain that I no longer fear. I feel relief as I prepare for another round of chemo tomorrow.20150721_08352820150721_123706


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