I realized that if I’m going to let the trail teach me I’m going to have to deal with that control thing that keeps getting in the way. Its laughable how each day I make my plans and each day the trail changes my plans. Goals are good, goals without a plan is no more than a wish or a dream. Wishes and dreams aren’t all that bad either but without some good old fashioned discipline very little can take place. My problem is that oft the discipline has been the focus. And the focus quickly shifts from God to mua (sp?).
So I’m moving forward. Jesus said be either hot or cold or I will spew you out of my mouth. Well I aint no spew.
I still want to die. WHAT? you heard me I wanted to die and be with my son. But now “I” want to die. Kill the wizard. “oh no I’m a very good person, Im just a bad wizard” (Wizard of OZ) Well, I was a very good wizard, but really wasn’t a good person.
So bring it trail, its time to man up, damn the fear, call me what you will but don’t call me forgettable …or spew.